‘Strayans like to know who they’re chin wagging to, even if they’ve only just met in the boozer. Quite aside from country of origin, ‘Strayans categorize themselves and more often others, by virtue of location and demographic background. For a country whose entire population is in some manner of multi-ethnic immigrant stock and supposedly no class distinction, the categorization can be based solely on first impressions, so watch your step.
Pom: One of British (specifically English) extraction. Supposed to be related to the acronym POME, used to describe British convicts (who made up the bulk of ‘Straya’s initial population), which stood for a term along the lines of Prisoner Of Mother England. Used initially by ‘Currency Kids’ (The first generation of ‘Strayans actually born down under) and other immigrants to describe those chaps who were actually from Mother England; due to the guarantee of great insult being taken by the recipient. One can imagine an officer of the admiralty replying tersely “I am an English Gentleman and NOT a bally convict you sordid colonial, and just jolly well don’t forget it, what!”, or some other Yoda-esque gobbledeegook.
Pommy Land: The home of the Pom.
Tasmaniacs: Inhabitants of Tasmania.
Crow Eaters: Inhabitants of South Australia. The origin of this name refers to a unique South Australian delicacy dating back to early colonial times (all of a hundred a fifty odd years ago...) when not a great deal of conventionally sourced meat was readily available. Thus deprived, the inhabitants of the colony hunted crows as a food source. Contemporary citizens considered this practice as almost barbaric and consequently, by drowning the meat in gravy and wrapping the mix in pastry and so producing the "crow pie", the crows were disguised, This worked very well for a length of time until consumers cottoned on, thus a further layer of disguise was introduced in the form of a smothering of pea and ham soup, the dish so produced being sold as a recovery agent. In this form and application it is still sold today (see Pie Floater in TIME FOR A FEED).
Sand Gropers:
Inhabitants of Western Australia, often simply referred to as Gropers. The origin of this term is not known to the author but may possibly be a reference to the sandy soil common around the state’s capital, Perth, or reference to the fact that much of the state is sandy semi-dessert full of gas and iron ore.
Banana Benders:
Inhabitants of Queensland, named after the tropical fruit grown in abundance there and in northern New South Wales, and giving an insight into the effects of too much sun on Caucasians.
Kanakalanders:
Banana Benders. Apparently this colloquial name stems from a large group of labourers, known as Kanaks, brought to the state during the early agricultural and infrastructure development of the colony. No, really, I read it once.
Top Enders: Inhabitants of Darwin and the northern part (top end) of the Northern Territory. They were up all night thinking this name up.
Abo: Shortening of Aborigine. The previous inhabitants of the island that is now ‘Straya. Nomadic, disparate, tribal people claimed to be the oldest “culture” on the planet. Achievements of the oldest culture on Earth include the Didgeridoo; a hollow log which can be used to make a singularly unpleasant noise loosely described as music, and the Boomerang; a stick, which when thrown away, annoyingly returns. Despite spending the previous 40,000 years fighting each other, Abo’s now claim an unlikely collective status (titled ‘Aboriginal and Torres straight Islanders’) in order to strengthen their efforts to claim sacred sites (which see in WALKABOUT).
Coon: A popular brand of tasty cheddar cheese, see also Abo.
Boong: An Abo. Presumably a reference to the sound made when an Abo bounces off of the bullbar of one’s truck at the conclusion of a swerve to the wrong side of the road and through a couple of fences in order to hit the bastard.
Gin (or Gyn): A female Abo. Also called a Bitumen Blonde.
Coconut: Pacific Islander. The reader is directed to watch the fillum ‘Idiot Box’.
Nig Nog: One of black complexion. Also Darkie.
Fuzzy Wuzzy:
Similar to a darkie, in particular those from the pacific islands who have distinctive fuzzy looking hair. The term Fuzzy Wuzzies was coined by the 2nd A.I.F. during fighting in New Guinea, when the local indigenous population made prodigious efforts to aid the defence of the island, particularly in helping evacuate wounded diggers, in which capacity they were known as Fuzzy Wuzzy Angels.
Frog: One of French origin. Frogs are not particularly common in ‘Straya, since the Poms beat them in the race to colonize God’s country. In addition, it would appear that the unfortunate history of Froggie artistes down under has scared the remaining Frogs into avoiding ‘Straya on their way to New Caledonia or Muruoa Atol. Examples include one knob jockey being spectacularly shot by New South Welsh p’leece (which see in WHADDA YA DO MATE?) on a Sydney beach, after a combination of fahn wahn and ze ‘evvie sohn drove him to twist off. There was also the amusing spectacle of a group of five cockheads being arrested by South Australian coppers, when they strode the streets of Adelaide wearing only gaily coloured paint - in the name of ‘expresionist art’ you understand.
Frogs are even less common in Un Zid, since their finest agents of espionage so spectacularly ballsed up the ‘accidental’ sinking of the hippie flag ship ‘Rainbow Warrior’, and were embarrassingly caught by possibly the smallest police force in the civilised world.
Wog: One of Greek origin. In the infancy of Political correctness, efforts were made by various wankers (which see in STICKS AND STONES), to convince the population of ‘Straya that Wog was in fact an acronym for Western Oriental Gentleman, which is of course a load of wank and quite rightly identified as such, the wankers responsible having shit hung on them for some considerable period there after. Wogs actually now promote this pseudonym with some pride.
Diego: One of Italian or Spanish origin.
The differences between Diegos and Wogs are subtle and particularly baffling to most ‘Strayans who will refer to any person of Mediterranean appearance as a Wog until corrected. Correction will often be by the Wog or Diego in question, who will indignantly correct any erroneous categorization. This is especially true since Movies such as ‘The Wog Boy’ have made these once mistrusted ‘Strayans rather trendy. Besides, ‘Strayans now blame Slopes and Reffos for all their problems, real or imagined.
Spic: Shortening of Hispanic, one of Latin American origin.
Kraut: One of German origin.
Box Head: Also a Kraut, an infrequently used reference to the distinctive pattern of steel helmet wore by members of the Wehrmacht when facing diggers of the first and second A.I.F during the worldwide differences of opinion.
Yank: One of United States origin
Seppo: Shortening of Septic Tank, rhyming slang for Yank.
Snap Frozen Yank:
One of Canadian origin. A reference to the geographic proximity of Snap Frozen Yanks and Yanks, which also acknowledges that Snap Frozen Yanks live in the more frigid waste lands north of their Seppo neighbours. The term also betrays the fact that that most ‘Strayans wouldn’t have a clue how to tell the difference.
Curry-Munchers:
Anyone from the sub-continent, though some distinction may be made if the subject is known to be a Punjab (strictly a Punjabi, though loosely used to describe any Indian, particularly those Curry-Munchers favouring the wearing of Turbans) or a Pakkie (Pakistani).
Reffo: Refugee, or one claiming to be a refugee in order to expediate settlement in ‘Straya. Reffos usually arrive in jerry built boats, which occasionally sink and thus contribute to the fishing industry. Reffos are poorly understood and thus most ‘Strayans suspect them of being Bludgers (which see). Particularly poorly understood is the Reffo’s gifted ability to afford the payment of large sums of dough for passage on dodgey cruise lines, despite claiming to be poor and starving once ashore in ‘Straya. Previously Reffos were likely to be Slopes but they are now mostly to be ill-tempered Towel Heads, whose hobbies include the destruction, by burning, of the accommodation provided to them free of charge by the gumment.
Towel Heads: Arabs, so named due to their affection for shamaghs, which bear strong resemblance to non-souvenir tea towels. Also frequently used is the term Rag Heads which is widely favoured by Seppo’s.
Ninja: Female Towel Head, so called owing to the universal adoption of the black burkha covering the entire body except for the thinnest slit about the eyes for vision, and the hem stopping just high enough to give a glimpse of the ankles and porn star high heels.
Muzzie: One of muslim faith. Usually an alternative reference to a Towel Head.
Nip: One of Japanese origin, a shortening of “Nippon” the Japanese name for their homeland.
Slope: Generic term for those of Asian appearance
Rubber Neck: Tourist. A description of the movements of ones head in order to see as much as possible.
City Slicker: A term heard in rural areas describing a Rubber Neck who dwells in the city.
Country Bumpkin:
A term heard in urban areas describing a Rubber Neck who dwells in the country.
Bogan: Any person of limited socio-economic background or who fits the stereotype image (scruffy appearance, limited vocabulary, stunted intellectual development). These people are usually found working in car factories and spend their weekends watching footy, or blueing down at the local boozer. Their distinctive plumage consists of a chequered flannelette shirt, black or faded stovepipe jeans worn several sizes too small and rough footwear (moccasins, ripple soled black imitation suede boots, work boots or scruffy sneakers). Often a Mullet haircut is concealed by a black beanie. Typically Males can be distinguished from adult females by their considerably smaller build. Juvenile and adult examples of the breed can be distinguished from infants by the distinctive misshapen shoulder on the side of the non-master hand, this apparent deformity being caused by the packet of cigarettes stored conveniently.
Feral: In English, an introduced or domesticated species of plant or animal introduced or released to the wild. A relatively modern alternative to Bogan for obvious reasons, bearing in mind the rough and tumble appearance and manner of a feral animal compared to it’s tame domestic counterpart. The wild manner generally expected of a feral gives rise to the term Going Feral (see going on like a pork chop in STICKS AND STONES).
Yobbo: also shortened to Yob’. As for Bogan, but broadened to encompass most louts and troublemakers. Most ‘Strayans can be claim to have acted like a Yob’ at some point in their lives.
Westie: Unique to Sydney, this describes the local brand of Bogan, who live in the cheaper western suburbs of Sydney.
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